On Rest

I just got back from Alter - a sauna and ice bath studio on College St. My partner and I received a gift card there as a gift for our wedding and I was eager to finally use it.

And let me tell you - I enjoyed it. I liked feeling the sweat trickle down through my hair. I could only manage 10 seconds in the cold plunge. While I did not enjoy the feeling of my muscles seizing up, I did enjoy the feeling of my body thawing and adjusting to the warmth afterwards. I liked sitting in the stillness under the soft lighting.

Sitting in the sauna, with the sauna leader smashing essential oil-infused snowballs on the coals, feeling the heat and sweat on my body, I thought to myself, “The Finns have cracked the code”. I’ve successfully abandoned my to-do list. All I need to do is sit here, drink the tea, and let my body detoxify itself. I should do this more often! I should probably get a membership! The Finns make it part of their everyday life, I should too! Should I do it on Thursdays while my partner is jamming with his band? Maybe not every Thursday, but I could probably manage once a month. Yes, once a month seems reasonable.

But then I remember all the extra things that go into making this possible. It takes a 45-minute trek - two buses and a subway ride - which is actually the same amount of time it takes to walk. So, I walk because I find walking peaceful, and this is supposed to be a peaceful experience, right? And the session is $48, and I want to get the most out of that, so I’d better stay for the 2 hours allotted, but that seems silly, shouldn’t I just go once I feel satisfied? Also, I can’t commit to 2 hours of wellness, plus the 80-minute commute! Yes, we’re abandoning the to-do list, but for a respectable amount of time. The to-do list waits for nobody!

I’ve been through this mind loop before. I’ve tried to make yoga and facials a thing to treat myself with, but inevitably, it felt like a luxurious chore, rather than rest. And then as a privileged white lady, I think - damn, privileged white ladies with too much time on their hands really know how to overcomplicate rest.

I’m not here to yuck other people’s yum. If the sauna works for you, please do not let me and my ramblings stop you. Get that rest! Also, the sauna did feel like a paradise. In fact, I will most likely treat myself to it on occasion. And I love yoga. I truly see the benefits of yoga, stretching, balance and stillness. And facials - well, I don’t know. I just don’t know! Skincare and beauty are their own beasts, and I don’t feel like getting into that one right now.

When I think about rest and calm, I think about my mom being content sitting on the back porch with a coffee or my long morning walks to work. I think about being at home with music on, reading with my partner playing Pokémon beside me, and my cat stretching out on the floor looking back longingly at us. I’ve concluded that spending money to rest isn’t going to work for me. I’ll always think of the financial component of it. Knowing I’m participating in a form of rest that only people of a certain income bracket can afford sits uncomfortably with me. On top of that, I find it weird that my consumerist mind kicks in about getting the most out of the experience.

Essentially, contentment and rest are mindsets. I just need to commit to it and stop overcomplicating it.